Life Is Relationship

(I’m going to interrupt the typical articles I write on relationship to speak about something more practical, but at the same time, still having everything to do with relationship.)

Today my wife, Zolla, and I launched a new website called, PRAYERS FOR A CHILD. It details our journey towards finding the child we’ve always been praying for through the gift of adoption.

Here’s our story and how you might use the website to help us complete our journey:

THE BEGINNING OF OUR JOURNEY

It’s hard to know exactly when our adoption journey began. But, I know of one painful day eight years ago when the path became much clearer.

My wife and I were sitting in a medical clinic examination room in giddy spirits. We were about to have her first ultrasound and see our developing child for the very first time.

A few months prior, Zolla called me at work and I could barely understand her at first because she couldn’t stop crying while trying to talk. “I never thought it would happen!” I finally understood her say. “I never thought we’d get pregnant, but we are!”

And so, we were about to see this new life inside her. The ultrasound tech came in, smiling back at our excitement, and began the process to see the developing baby.

We looked closely at the screen, trying to catch a glimpse of this new life. But, I was also watching the technician, and began to see her expression change.

She left the room and came back with an OB doctor who pointed where the child was and told us it wasn’t moving. It had died at some point, had stopped developing, and we were told that our hopes of finally having a child of our own would in this case end in a miscarriage.

Obviously, we were devastated. We mourned the loss of our child and still mourn it today. We had so long prayed for children and always believed that God would give us several to love and cherish. We even had names picked out for them and often imagined what they’d be like.

We kept trying to conceive, but were unable to do so. Because we married in our early 30s, we knew that as the years passed, conception would be more and more difficult.

DETOURS IN THE ROAD

We visited a fertility doctor to find out if there were reasons we could address for our inability to get pregnant again. My sperm count, etc. was tested and it came back normal. Zolla underwent a hysterosalpingogram to examine whether there were abnormalities in her uterus and fallopian tubes, but that also came back normal.

We then considered other options to improve fertility. We tried artificial insemination (IUI) with no positive results. We looked into in-vitro fertilization (IVF), but after some consideration decided against it due to a combination of personal ethics concerns, the extremely low-probability of success due to our advancing age, not to mention the exorbitant costs.

And so, we started considering the idea of adoption. Personally, I had always wanted a child from our own bodies and so avoided the idea of adoption until then. But when it became more and more unlikely that we’d ever have one of our own, I realized that raising a child from another mother would be just as meaningful and rewarding. God may have simply planned to answer our prayers for a child through the journey of adoption.

REACHING OUT ONLINE

And so, we just created www.prayersforachild.com, as well as setting up Facebook and Twitter pages. The internet and the world of social media have changed in many ways what we call “community”–the way we can reach out, find each other, and in this case, support each other in our joys, our sorrows, our needs, and our prayers.

Of course, the most miraculous fruit that could come from telling our story online would be that a birth mother who is considering placing her child with a loving family for adoption would find us and perhaps God would move her to investigate whether giving her child to us would be his will for all involved (if that is you, please read The Gift Of Your Child and About Us pages for more information on this possibility).

But, we are also hopeful to find advice and support from others online who have followed a similar journey, and perhaps even build a community all our own in celebration of the adoption and parenting journey.

HOW YOU CAN HELP

We need you to complete our adoption journey!

• Your Prayers - If you can do nothing else but join us in our prayers for a child, to intercede on our behalf for God to help us complete our adoption journey, we would be eternally grateful.

• Your Wisdom & Knowledge – We’re new to all this. If you have travelled this journey before as an adoptive parent, a birth mother, an adopted child, an advocate or agency employee, a church or fund-raising entity, we want to hear from you. Also, perhaps you have the knowledge that is most precious to us – a lead on a willing birth mother. If that is the case, please contact us right away with those details.

• Your Help Spreading The Word Online – It may very well be that willing birth mothers, prayer warriors, well-connected adoption professionals, or a generous charitable donors are all out there online and it’s just up to us to find them through the power of social networking.

1. Visit and become familiar with our website, Prayers For A Child.
2. Tell your friends about our site by going to the “SHARE THIS SITE” section in the upper-righthand corner of our website’s home page.
3. Join our Prayers For A Child Facebook and Twitter pages, and share those with your friends as well.

• Your Financial Support – Finally, we’re not ashamed to say that we also need your financial support. If you already contribute to other worthy causes, please consider counting our desire to give a child a lifetime of love and well-being to be among them, and prayerfully consider easing the large financial burden we will bear in completing our adoption journey. For more info on our adoption expenses and how to donate, visit our Ways To Support Us page.

AREAS TO EXPLORE ON OUR WEBSITE

OUR JOURNEY – (repeated in this post) The story of our desire for children, the sorrow we’ve faced through infertility, and our belief that God will answer our prayers for a child through the gift of adoption.

ABOUT US – Details about who we are: our biography and spiritual background, our pets, our location, lifestyle, our health and financial stability.

THE GIFT OF YOUR CHILD – Part of our prayers for a child are that, through this website, perhaps a birth mother who is considering whether to place her child with a loving family for adoption will find us online. If that’s you, please visit this page to find encouragement and support for your own journey, whether it ever involves us receiving a child from you or not.

WAYS TO SUPPORT US – Up till now, our adoption journey has been a lonely one. But, we realize that we can never complete it without your help: we need your prayers, your wisdom & knowledge, your help spreading the word online, and your financial support. Please visit this page to join us in community along our road to adoption.

NEWSLETTER- We hope to start an email newsletter that will include updates on our adoption journey and (if necessary) the occasional fundraising appeal. Subscribe to it here.

CONTACT US – If you are a willing birth mother or someone who wants to asks us questions or offer us encouragement, advice, or other support, please contact us here.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts for joining us in our adoption journey!

John and Zolla Michalak